Joy

Joy - that's a hard one. And as I come to Christmas, it disturbs me that I don't feel very joyful. At a time when I have so much to be thankful for, so many blessings, I don't feel joyful.

It makes me realize that perhaps part of the problem is that I don't have joy every day. I get through, remembering that God has me where he wants me for the day. I say ok, and move on in the day. But do I jump on it as an opportunity? Do I make the most out of each moment He has given me. I can not lie to myself - the answer is no.

Instead, I find myself grouchy, ornery, not looking forward to tomorrow, and not looking forward to Christmas. It's time to change my own feelings. It's time to delve into scripture so that the Holy Spirit can remind me of what I have hidden in my heart, that way he can begin to change my perspective.

John 14:26
 But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.

I have so much to be grateful for. I liken myself to a spoiled child - I have so much, yet I feel as though I have nothing. I know I have much to be joyful about, yet I wallow in self pity. It is almost irritating when I'm around people who are so joyful that they will not share that they have any type of burden (which we all do!) Perhaps the problem is not that they are faking it, trying to seem perfect and joyful all the time. Perhaps the problem instead is that I have not learned joy to the point that everything else dims in perspective.

Joy comes only from God, and the only way to experience him is by spending time with him - knowing what he has to say. So, in trying to get ready for the craziness of Christmas, I'm planning on finding scriptures to memorize as well finding something to be thankful for each morning and each night. We'll see how well this works. If nothing else, memorization can only be good for my heart and mind.